FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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