what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
