this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
