Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
