Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
