Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize