Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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