My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
