Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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