I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
