i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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