I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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