I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
