he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
