First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
