You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
