Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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