So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
