i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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