I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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