you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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