the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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