True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
