My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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