I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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