I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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