I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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