Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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