ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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