it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize