Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
