Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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