Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize