i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
