btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
