I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
