real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
