Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude. I can hear the air.
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