Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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