I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize