I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
