I cockslap morals
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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