He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
