im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They took my balls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You pole danced in your parka.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
