well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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