Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
