we're chasing vodka with high fives
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
