my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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