I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
