I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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