uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
