I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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