And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize