Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
