Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
why is half of my head shaved?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
