Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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