Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
