If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
