Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
