My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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