Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
